The Broke Bitch Buys a Dyson

I bought myself a Dyson V6 Motorhead SV04 Stick Vacuum as a “freedom to do domestic work now” present, waiting for me at the end of my job. It arrived my first day of Funemployment. Honestly, it’s like having the biggest dick in town. It’s the Nimbus 2000 (or 2001…or whatever model Harry Potter ended up with before graduating wizarding school) of vacuums, […]

Talent Show

Last night, my best friend and I had an obnoxious laughing fit at the Lumberyard Tavern’s early Happy Hour in Encinitas while recounting to my guest from Portland all the trouble we’ve been in all over the world—the times we should’ve died but didn’t. “We don’t die. That is our talent.” She—who shall not be […]