I should get, “Just because you have a sudden urge to weep, that doesn’t mean you’ve made a mistake” tattooed to my back.
God I’m so boring these days I feel unworthy of authoring this blog. I have no complaints! Still broke, though, despite promotion at work (dem credit cards, doe). I got a dog who, despite his advanced heartworm, is the most perfect being ever to traverse this earth. I got a promotion—the honest way—and I work […]
“When you shake, your muscles are literally changing!” the instructor yells into her mic. Well do I look like Rebecca Romijn as Mystique yet because I’m shaking like a shakeweight on acid right now! The editor of the blog I write for thinks I should be less self-deprecating in my writing, so here’s half-assed attempt. […]
I am not qualified to write this post. I notice that people in New York City are immaculately well put-together. Bitches. A fortnight ago, I was sitting in cafe, across from a girl with perfectly shaded-in eyebrows, full, red lipstick, and beautiful, wild, natural curly dark hair. She was stunning, without even trying too hard […]
Kneejerk Answer: They don’t, because no one wants to marry a broke bitch, much less sire sons with them. (What is the converse of: “It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife”?) Still broke, and bitter, in case you were […]
Last night, as my chakras were buckling under the weight of the Christmas dinner I’d just massacred (seriously, when I eat too much I get sharp pains in my left shoulder blade), I thought about the last time I sat at this table two weeks ago, before I answered the call of the New York […]
“I thought, ‘If this Classics bitch can do it, I can too!’” Proof that I’m an inspiration to a generation. Or a sellout. Tomato, potato… Week 2 of work in the bag. Is this even real? I’m still so shell-shocked from my last venture into employment that I’m still waiting for the catch. I’m waiting […]
Still broke though. NYC is an expensive beezy. Life—or that abstract, all-knowing being above—likes to fuck with me. I truly believe that in my soul. Which is why I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel about the last five days I’ve spent in New York, not as a traveling gnome passing through but as […]