The Broke Bitch Buys a Dyson

I bought myself a Dyson V6 Motorhead SV04 Stick Vacuum as a "freedom to do domestic work now" present, waiting for me at the end of my job. It arrived my first day of Funemployment. Honestly, it's like having the biggest dick in town. It's the Nimbus 2000 (or 2001...or whatever model Harry Potter ended up with before graduating wizarding school) of vacuums,… Continue reading The Broke Bitch Buys a Dyson

I Prefer the Term ‘Professionally Crazed Fan’

Today I went through the turnstile into the subway just as a woman was trying to go through the turnstile out of the subway. "Seriously?!" she exclaimed. "YEA. Swiped my card first." I plowed past her like a lawnmover. Ain't nuttin gettin' passed dis. "WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM, YOU CRAZY BITCH?" At the time, I was terribly… Continue reading I Prefer the Term ‘Professionally Crazed Fan’

Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman – Confessions of a 26-Year-Old

I’m honestly just tumbling down the hill on the other side of 25. Everything is on cruise control. Sure, there are still some over-bleached, seriously appalling epiphanies that spill into my consciousness from time to time that remind me how big a fucking loser I am (like the time I came home—ahem the other night—and… Continue reading Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman – Confessions of a 26-Year-Old