Diamond Advice

DAY 1 of blog. Bienvenidos. 

No email responses from prospective employers in my inbox this morning (how surprising); just 28 emails from Democratic Headquarters telling me they need my [imaginary] money, and from LinkedIn, updating me on every new post in their ‘My First Job’ series, where they ask business big-wigs to talk about their first jobs and how far they’ve come. I love Whitney Johnson’s because I relate her Wall Street dream to my sports dream (David Beckham, please just fucking make me your drycleaning caddy already). Otherwise, I feel a general disconnect with these stories—started from the bottom, still at the bottom. Mudda-f.

Anyway, I’d like to share a time when I was freshly unemployed and re-broke back in June: my (now) ex-boss had just Next’d my ass after client work magically dried up in the span of three weeks, and he needed to pay his daughters’ mortgages off somehow – seeing as how I was the only one in the company who wasn’t family, I got “Well, maybe you’ll win the lottery and pay your own bills that way!” So, I was stranded in a new town, with no income and no foreseeable prospects.


Luckily, for a painfully broke bitch, I got dem resources. My baddest bitch in Brentwood was going to be out on Martha’s Vineyard at her family’s East Coast residence for the Fourth of July, so I took two buses and one ferry and rode on her coattails for the holiday weekend. Her family and their friends were there as well, and they all came pre-briefed on my tale of woe. One fellow guest was her father’s friend Bruce, a quintessential California dude—adventure-seeker, sunnily disposed, Peter Pan-ish—except with a vocabulary and self-earned wealth. He gave me some diamond advice that I often recall whenever I feel suicidal about my broke bitch problems:

1) Seek those conversations. “You never know. Someone could be moved by your tale of woe.” Or they’ll just laugh at me but whatever.

2) Bend your kneesA surfing/snowboarding reference if I ever heard one.

3) This is an opportunity. “You already have the sunken investment in place to make the best of this. You’re already there!”

4) Every person you meet is a ‘touch’. To clarify, he didn’t mean ‘touch’ as in suggesting physical/sexual assault; he meant that every person you meet has the potential to be a connection, which is important. Most business connections, I’ve heard, happen away from any conventional business environment anyway.

More brilliant advice given to me by completely random fountains of wisdom to follow.

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