Christopher McCandless Making Me Look Bad

Into the Wild

Or rather, Emile Hirsch as Christopher McCandless as he is re-imagined in Sean Penn’s screenplay. I’m Asian, and my family would fillet my ass-cheeks if I used my $200,000 degree toward becoming homeless in the wilderness. So, I actually do want a career, but where that benchmark will fall on the timeline of my life, I have no idea. Will that be before or after I marry and become impregnated (or the other way around, I’m not picky) by a scalding-hot professional soccer player? Guess I better spend my last couple of pesos hittin’ the gym then, you know, just in case miracles do happen!

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