Recent Posts

The Broke Bitch Buys a Dyson

I bought myself a Dyson V6 Motorhead SV04 Stick Vacuum as a “freedom to do domestic work now” present, waiting for me at the end of my job. It arrived my first day of Funemployment. Honestly, it’s like having the biggest dick in town. It’s the Nimbus 2000 (or 2001…or whatever model Harry Potter ended up with before graduating wizarding school) of vacuums, […]

I Prefer the Term ‘Professionally Crazed Fan’

Today I went through the turnstile into the subway just as a woman was trying to go through the turnstile out of the subway. “Seriously?!” she exclaimed. “YEA. Swiped my card first.” I plowed past her like a lawnmover. Ain’t nuttin gettin’ passed dis. “WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM, YOU CRAZY BITCH?” At the time, I was terribly […]